1 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,536 - Now, you have everything, B? - I think so. 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,472 Yo! Everybody up for "Jeopardy!" 3 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,941 raise their hand and give me a dollar. 4 00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:11,977 Sorry, ALF, I'm jeapord-ied out. 5 00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:13,445 How about you, Kate? 6 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,214 You must be over yesterday's 7 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,483 trouncing by now. 8 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,718 I'm taking Brian to his scout meeting. 9 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,022 But you haven't heard the new categories I thought up. 10 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:24,857 Martian tourist traps. 11 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,692 Girls named Fred. 12 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,361 Places you itch. 13 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,963 We're leaving. Bye. 14 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,401 Say, hey, Willie Mayes. 15 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:39,471 How about a fun-filled, fast-paced game of "Jeopardy!" 16 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,040 You cheat. 17 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,742 William, I'm appalled. 18 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:44,877 I'm aghast. 19 00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,578 You're a cheater. 20 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,747 I do not cheat. 21 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,984 I just memorize the answers in advance. 22 00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:55,154 Not like I have a lot to do around here, you know. 23 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:58,757 I'm going out to the garage to work on my ham radio 24 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,559 and while I'm gone, I'd appreciate it 25 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,162 If you did not put any portion of this house 26 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:08,934 in jeopardy, double jeopardy, or final jeopardy. 27 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,602 What are you worried about, Willie? 28 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,939 We hit your deductible $10,000 ago. 29 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,142 Goodbye. 30 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,346 Now entering our studio 31 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,881 a college freshman 32 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,417 originally from Los Angeles, California. 33 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,187 Say hello to Lynn Tanner. 34 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,289 [imitates crowd cheering] 35 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:33,425 ALF, two weeks of that game is enough. 36 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,127 I'm going to aerobics. 37 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,596 Alright, look, I'll give you an easy one. 38 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:41,433 He's the 3'2" alien from an exploded planet 39 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,136 who's currently bored to tears. 40 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,238 ALF. 41 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,907 Form of a question, please! 42 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,342 [door shuts] 43 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,046 [theme music] 44 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,340 [instrumental music] 45 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,482 Need some help? 46 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:06,585 No, I can do this myself. Thanks. 47 00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:11,690 Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh. 48 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,525 Do you mind? 49 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,294 It's your radio. 50 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,895 Or should I say, your soon to be 51 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,364 smoldering heap of electrical debris. 52 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,745 Alright, uh, what I doing wrong here? 53 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:38,750 Nope. Far be it for me to come between a man and his hobby. 54 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:42,654 Well, could you far be it from me, please? 55 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,190 But there's nothing good on TV. 56 00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,326 And I've read all the books in the house. 57 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,995 And I know it's on the top shelf of every one of your closets. 58 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:55,334 You were quite the letter-writer in your day, Sugarlips. 59 00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,805 Stay out of my letters. 60 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,175 What are you trying to do here? 61 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,577 Trying to upgrade the auto monitor. 62 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,745 Why? 63 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,014 So I can talk to Australia. 64 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,583 Does the word "telephone" ring a bell? 65 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,785 Well, it would defeat the purpose, ALF. 66 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,355 The whole idea of a ham radio is the challenge 67 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:20,225 the real challenge, man against machine. 68 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,594 Good old American know-how. 69 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:26,298 Right. And you ain't going to fix this no how. 70 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,068 I'm retooling the monitor 71 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:34,439 so that when I bump from satellite to trans-Oceanic 72 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,542 my Phelp switch doesn't alter frequency. 73 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,311 What, is that all? 74 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,514 All? I've been working on that for three months. 75 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,219 There. That'll do it. 76 00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:48,553 See ya. 77 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,157 Oh. 78 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,358 Yeah, right. 79 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,061 Right. 80 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,230 [static] 81 00:04:58,232 --> 00:05:00,065 (man on radio) 'Hello? Anyone there?' 82 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,403 Hello? 83 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,472 (man on radio) 'G'day, mate. You're clear as a bell. Over.' 84 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,944 Yo. What's up, scout? 85 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,180 I'm working on my bachelor living badge. 86 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,448 Can I help? 87 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,417 You know anything about bachelor living? 88 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,086 Well, I've eaten cold pizza for breakfast 89 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,522 and grown things in the fridge. 90 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,657 "The bachelor living badge is for 91 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,326 "basic homemaking skills 92 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,928 for our fast-paced and changing culture." 93 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:33,165 My last requirement is to prepare a balanced meal. 94 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,434 Is that it? 95 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,704 On Melmac, to get a bachelor living badge 96 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,505 they left you out in a field 97 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,541 with only twigs and bark 98 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,877 and you had a week to build a single's bar. 99 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,947 I'm going to make suggested menu number three. 100 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,149 Turkey salad sandwiches, broccoli spears 101 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,884 and cheddar cheese cubes. 102 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,786 Boring! 103 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:57,856 It has something from each of the four basic food groups. 104 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,192 So does Trevor's blue tie 105 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,627 but I wouldn't want to eat it for lunch. 106 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,629 Are you going to help me or not? 107 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,665 Well, it's not as challenging 108 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,668 as building a mirror ball out of dried leaves 109 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,636 but it's better than nothing. 110 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,605 Here, you can take care of the broccoli. 111 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,477 ¶ Dun-dun dun-dun dun-dah! ¶ 112 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,746 ¶ Dun-dun dun-dun dun-dah! ¶¶ 113 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,081 There. I took care of it. 114 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,055 I don't know about this. 115 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,857 Well, actually, I do 116 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,925 and I hate the whole idea. 117 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,194 But it's going to make you feel great. 118 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,063 I already feel great. 119 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,598 Go ahead, feel me. 120 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,069 You have no muscle tone. 121 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:48,006 I'll have you know my health club on Melmac 122 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:52,077 once voted me "bod of the month." 123 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,712 You went to a health club? 124 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,948 Well, here you call it a bakery. 125 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,718 Come on. No pain, no gain. 126 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,187 [instrumental music] 127 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,690 Come on, ALF. Go for the burn! 128 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,926 I'd rather go for the donuts. 129 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,131 Come on, time for leg lifts. 130 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:20,105 One, two, three, four, five. 131 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,440 How does that feel, ALF? 132 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,141 [ALF snoring] 133 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,943 ALF! 134 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,159 Hi. 135 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,495 Hi. 136 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:46,264 It's come to this, Kate. 137 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,233 What's that, ALF? 138 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:52,971 I'm so bored, I'm interested in what you're doing. 139 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,806 What are you doing? 140 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,341 Refinishing this bureau. 141 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:01,513 I think, if you listen very carefully 142 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:05,183 You can actually hear my interest wane. 143 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,786 Just be careful. That's wet. 144 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,321 [scoffs] You know, I think it's time 145 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,323 for you to find a hobby. 146 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,192 Why don't you collect stamps? 147 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,428 Great. I could think about all the places 148 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,763 they've been to that I can't go. 149 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:22,000 Perfect pastime for a shut-in. 150 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,003 Well, what about, uh, yoga? 151 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,172 It sounds fairly quiet. 152 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,608 I was into yoga on Melmac. 153 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,343 Want to hear my mantra? 154 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,844 Sure. 155 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,347 Wow, I can really cross my legs 156 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,282 and put my feet on top of my knees. 157 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,451 Boy, am I relaxed and limber. I'm so limber. 158 00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:40,819 Like, the limberest thing you could think of. 159 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,487 That's how limber I am and-- 160 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,256 Maybe yoga's not such a great idea. 161 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,158 Now, what am I supposed to do? 162 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,227 I'm not cutout for aerobics. 163 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,830 Cubing cheese is no challenge. 164 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,799 And I already fixed Sugerlip's radio. 165 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,403 Face it, Kate. 166 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,639 I'm a man without a purpose. 167 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,674 Or a planet. 168 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,877 Or a middle finger, for that matter. 169 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,412 Well, I'm sure you'll find 170 00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,848 Something interesting to do.. 171 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,550 ...eventually. 172 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,052 That's what I've been trying to.. 173 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,991 Stuck. 174 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,461 I surmised. 175 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,569 Ahh! 176 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,637 Sorry. 177 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,509 Furry handprint. 178 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,645 I see it. 179 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,682 Leaving now. 180 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,083 Good idea. 181 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,954 [instrumental music] 182 00:09:56,196 --> 00:10:00,065 Well, what's your professional opinion? 183 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,800 He's bored. 184 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,602 But you don't think there's any underlying 185 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,604 psychological reason? 186 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,606 Maybe boredom. 187 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,140 That's it? 188 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,042 Well, he's a very intelligent being. 189 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,311 I mean, he needs to be challenged. 190 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,879 He needs to be muzzled. 191 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,149 He has the computer. 192 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,552 I've bought him dozens of books 193 00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:21,820 video tapes. 194 00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,655 He has plenty to do. The problem is 195 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,224 he wants to be in the middle of whatever we're doing. 196 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,260 It's easy to forget, you know, that he's an adult 197 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,929 and he wants to be treated like one. 198 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,564 So, what do we do? 199 00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,299 Well, you could, uh 200 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,134 talk to him, tell him your feelings 201 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,503 ask for advice, his opinion, and.. 202 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,805 Do it at dinner. It'll work wonders. 203 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,641 What if it doesn't? 204 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,209 We'll have dessert. 205 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,917 Oh, look, it's the gravy train. 206 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,686 Larry, you can sit right there. 207 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:57,188 Ah, thank you, thank you, Kate. 208 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,424 Wow, everything looks delicious. 209 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,929 Uh, well, uh, willie.. 210 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,432 How's life been treating you? 211 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,168 Um, well, now you mention it 212 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,703 there, uh.. 213 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,204 There is a guy at work.. 214 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:17,108 I-I've been having kind of a hard time with. 215 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,678 Oh, so tonight, we're dining and whining? 216 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,849 Uh, you want to tell us about it, willie? 217 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:29,154 Well, he's, uh, he's just really competitive, you know? 218 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:32,657 He's, um.. He's always trying to beat my case load 219 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,026 to get a raise ahead of me 220 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,462 get promoted before I do. 221 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,864 I know that's not what social work is all about 222 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:43,802 but I just can't help feeling pressured by this guy. 223 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,537 What do you think, ALF? 224 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,841 Huh? 225 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,210 Well, there's this guy at work.. 226 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,479 I heard that part. 227 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,048 Well.. 228 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,583 What do you think? 229 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,018 You're asking me? 230 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,854 You got a shrink right here. 231 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,156 No, I really value your judgment. 232 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,327 You what my what? 233 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,063 Dad wants your opinion. 234 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,865 Oh. 235 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,501 Well, willie, if you must be competitive 236 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,670 why don't you just compete with yourself? 237 00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,338 Not only will you feel better 238 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,373 you'll always win. 239 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,876 That's exactly what I would have said. 240 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,211 Really? 241 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,278 Really. 242 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,747 You, a psychologist 243 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:33,251 would have given the same advice as I, a lay alien? 244 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,686 That's right. 245 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,623 Kate.. Uh, Kate? Would you like some beets? 246 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,725 Beets? 247 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,427 Oh. 248 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,129 Oh, yes. Uh-huh. 249 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,064 Um.. 250 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,767 Speaking of work, you know 251 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:49,968 I really love my job 252 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,637 but whenever I'm there, I feel like 253 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,905 I'm neglecting the baby 254 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,407 and whenever I'm home here with eric 255 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,910 I feel like I'm not pulling my weight at work. 256 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,645 How do you feel about that, ALF? 257 00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,315 Me, again? 258 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,884 Yeah, I, uh.. 259 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:09,821 I just wondered how you thought about that. 260 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:12,724 Well, did you go back to work after Lynn was born? 261 00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,259 Yeah, I did. 262 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,795 Well, see? She turned out just fine. 263 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,898 She's not a rooftop sniper or anything. 264 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,232 Thanks, ALF. 265 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,268 That's exactly what I would have said. 266 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,904 Wow! Two for two! 267 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,372 Who's next? 268 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,478 Um, I have a problem too. 269 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,848 I don't like math. 270 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,150 Neither do I. 271 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,152 Thanks! I feel better now. 272 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,156 Hey, I'm on a roll! 273 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,993 Anything I can help you with, Lynndigo? 274 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,029 Sure. 275 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,465 Danny and I have been dating for over a year now 276 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,835 and I know he likes me, but I just-- 277 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,804 'I still feel jealous when he talks to other girls.' 278 00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:02,874 I wish I knew what to do about that. 279 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:06,344 Well, my advice would be to talk it over with Danny. 280 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,946 Let him know how you feel 281 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,381 and I'm sure you'll be able to work things out. 282 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,016 You with me on this, lar? 283 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,385 Oh, that's exactly what I would have said. 284 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,688 Hey, this is great! 285 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,023 How much you get paid for this kind of thing? 286 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,191 What kind of thing? 287 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,827 This advice shtick. 288 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,996 Well, actually, I get paid quite a lot. 289 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,698 Why do you ask? 290 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,400 Because I've found my true calling.. 291 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,904 I'm going to be a shrink. 292 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,973 How does that make you feel? 293 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,782 [instrumental music] 294 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,158 Willie? 295 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,660 Yeah? 296 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:58,897 "When the wayfarer whistles in the dark 297 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:02,033 "he may be disavowing his timidity 298 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:07,205 But he does not see any the more clearly for doing so." 299 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,107 I beg your pardon? 300 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,942 Freud said that. 301 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,443 You were clinking. 302 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,345 Clinking? 303 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,546 You feel you haven't made 304 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,515 a significant mark on the world 305 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,950 so you compensate 306 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,719 by unconsciously asserting your presence 307 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:24,322 in situations where you feel anonymous. 308 00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,227 What are you reading? 309 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:32,597 It's a therapy book. Larry loaned it to me. 310 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,966 I'm a shrink now, remember? 311 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,968 Oh, right. 312 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,903 Willie, if this interests ALF 313 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,039 we should be supportive. 314 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,707 And very grateful. 315 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,876 Right. 316 00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,045 Uh, maybe you've got a point. 317 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:51,549 I'll, uh.. In the future, I'll refrain from clinking. 318 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,785 You'll be the better for it. 319 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,087 These eggs are a little bit dry. 320 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,890 I'm sorry. I always do that. 321 00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:00,992 Kate, Kate, Kate. 322 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,561 You're expanding one tiny failure 323 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,431 into a self-defeating behavior pattern. 324 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,832 What? 325 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,268 It's called overgeneralization. 326 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,271 You convince yourself that you can never cook eggs right 327 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,807 and then you can't cook eggs right. 328 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,842 Oh, I have a headache. 329 00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,177 Morning. 330 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,611 Morning, Brian. 331 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,480 Hey, B. 332 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,415 Have you ever dreamed you were being chased 333 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,584 by a giant cheese log? 334 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,186 No. 335 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,189 Then I'll only need to see you five times a week. 336 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,930 [instrumental music] 337 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,533 Huh! 338 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,268 It says in this article that babies sometimes 339 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,837 remember things that happened when 340 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,972 they were still in the womb. 341 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,874 - Really? - Yeah. 342 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,776 I wonder if eric will remember 343 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,345 how things were around here before he was born. 344 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,450 Carl Jung was a big weenie head. 345 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,922 With any luck, he'll forget his first five years entirely. 346 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,393 I'm preparing a paper 347 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,396 for the American Psychological Association 348 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:15,967 that proves Jung's theorems were based on faulty logic 349 00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:18,503 and misinterpreted data. 350 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,706 How do you spell "Na-na na-na-na?" 351 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,743 ALF, it's not that we don't appreciate 352 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:29,180 your attempts to overanalyze every.. 353 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:33,484 To, uh, help us with our problems, but-- 354 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,219 Speaking of problems 355 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,321 we've got to do something about Brian. 356 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,324 What's wrong with Brian? 357 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:41,759 [sucks teeth] 358 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,431 He's been experiencing a lot of negative stroking 359 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,166 from Kate lately 360 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,835 and it's affecting his sense of okayness. 361 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:54,005 Alright. Okay. This has gone far enough. 362 00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:55,173 Now, now, honey. 363 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:56,607 No, no, it's alright. 364 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,709 It's good to ventilate. 365 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,679 I am not ventilating. I am talking. 366 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,281 And I resent the implication 367 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:06,217 that I am having a negative effect on my son's okayness. 368 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,618 Furthermore-- 369 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,220 How long have you had this persecution complex? 370 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,888 ALF! 371 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,690 I was talking to your wife. 372 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,925 Now, we ought to take a look 373 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,927 at your ego boundaries, willie. 374 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,528 Oh, I give up, I give up. 375 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,298 You're relinquishing your resistance. Good. 376 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,367 Now we can make some real progress. 377 00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,636 And you are spouting a lot 378 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,872 of psychological clichés 379 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,941 you don't even understand. 380 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,710 Why so hostile, willie? 381 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,246 I'm okay. You're okay. 382 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,448 This must stop! 383 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,084 That's right, a quick primal scream. 384 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:43,754 Let it fly! Then I'll.. 385 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:48,659 You cannot keep aggravating people like this. 386 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,828 Why do you hate your mother? 387 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,976 And he's just gotten completely carried away 388 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,145 with this therapy thing. 389 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,779 Oh, you know ALF, he gets carried away 390 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,181 with everything he does. 391 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,617 What motivated you to let it go this far? 392 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:16,120 Oh, stop it, Larry. I've had enough of this all week. 393 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,622 Just fix it. 394 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,023 Yeah, you know what they say.. 395 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,425 A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. 396 00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:25,463 In ALF's hands, foam rubber is a dangerous thing. 397 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,964 Do you think you can help? 398 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,699 Trust me. I'm a professional. 399 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,937 The last time someone said that to me 400 00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,839 I ended up with purple hair. 401 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,710 Dinner smells great, mom. 402 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,679 And you worked in all the food groups, too. 403 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,181 Well, I had planned to serve steaks tonight 404 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,515 But I forgot to take them out of the freezer 405 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,716 so at the last minute-- 406 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,652 Kate, Kate, Kate. 407 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,621 I think we're overcompensating, aren't we? 408 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,156 Excuse me? 409 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,192 You're apologizing for the food 410 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,693 in order to disguise your feelings 411 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,795 of insecurity around Larry. 412 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,497 Right, lar? 413 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,465 No, she's not doing that at all. 414 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:05,136 You're projecting your feelings about me onto Kate. 415 00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:08,005 Are you challenging my autonomy? 416 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,208 Well, you're the one that set yourself up 417 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,410 as a resident psychology expert. 418 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:15,246 I mean, it's only natural that you'd be threatened by me. 419 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,014 Who's threatened? 420 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:20,151 I'm coming from a very secure place. 421 00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:23,688 Ah, I'm picking up some hostilities here. 422 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,356 Can't we just have a simple dialogue 423 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,658 between our adult ego states? 424 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,660 Well, you're discounting an emotion 425 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,729 you're not prepared to confront. 426 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,431 And you're judging my reactions 427 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,400 with an unfair cultural bias. 428 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,569 You know, I think this is just another temporary obsession 429 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,571 to draw attention to yourself. 430 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,440 Hey! 431 00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:45,376 That wasn't nice. 432 00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,378 It's not so much fun being on the receiving end 433 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,013 of the couch, is it, ALF? 434 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,448 Aw, come on. 435 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,083 I don't sound like him. 436 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,620 Do I? 437 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,154 - Yep. - Sure do. 438 00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:00,191 Wow. 439 00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:01,759 You're really annoying. 440 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,529 Well, I've been at it a long time. 441 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,635 Now I know what Jung meant when he said 442 00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:12,603 "The growth of the mind 443 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,040 "is the widening of the range of consciousness 444 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:19,277 "and each step forward has been a most painful 445 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,213 "and laborious achievement." 446 00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:24,782 That's very insightful. 447 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:28,152 Personally, I always thought Carl Jung was a big.. 448 00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,994 [instrumental music] 449 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,896 (woman on radio) 'And I know he really does love me' 450 00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:41,399 'but he just doesn't show it at all anymore.' 451 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,134 'Should I talk to a divorce lawyer?' 452 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,435 (man on radio) 'Well, as an attorney' 453 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:45,670 'I've seen a lot of divorce cases' 454 00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:47,071 'that could have been avoided' 455 00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:48,939 'if the couple had seen a marriage counselor' 456 00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:52,176 'so I really suggest that you try to work things out first.' 457 00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:54,111 'Let's take our next caller.' 458 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,980 'Welcome to "Let's Talk Legal."' 459 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,582 (ALF on radio) 'I specialize in family law.' 460 00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:02,820 'That lady should sue the bum for all he's worth.' 461 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,122 'She'll clean up on community property' 462 00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,524 'and she can get enough property' 463 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:10,161 'to start her own community. Ha!' 464 00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,496 You check the garage, I'll cut the phone lines. 465 00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,265 (ALF on radio) 'I'm working with a couple right now..' 466 00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:17,668 'Your typical domestic tragedy waiting to happen.' 467 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,471 'The guy should have dumped his battle axe years ago.' 468 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,840 'I mean, talk about tempers.' 469 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,009 'Oh, hi, Kate. Hey!' 470 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,544 [line disconnects] 471 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,946 (man on radio) 'Hello? Hello?' 472 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,848 'Y-you're on the air?' 473 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,350 'Well, let's take our next caller.' 474 00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:36,554 [theme music] 475 00:23:02,315 --> 00:23:03,748 [laughing]